Re:Zero Academy:
First Period

1

It was just like any other day. And like always, my morning call came without warning and with an impact.

“Cooome on! Wake up. It’s morning!”

“Buegh!” Awakened from my sleep with an impact to my stomach, a belch escaped my mouth. No, actually, it’d be more accurate to say that I was forcefully woken up.

Having had air pushed out of my lungs, I opened my eyes in agony. A cute, adorable face I knew very well was in front of me.

“Good morning, my foolish sister,” I said.

“Good morning indeed, I suppose, foolish brother,” she responded. Unsure of whether it was because she sensed the irritation in my voice, she climbed off my stomach as she spoke. “It’s time for you to wake up. If you don’t, you’ll be late for school, I suppose, and mom and dad will get mad at you, in fact.”

She was a young girl with a doll-like face and hair the color of pale cream made into vertical drills. I always imagined she would make for a great decorative doll if she didn’t speak. However, at the same time, she was also very adorable whenever she interacted with others, charming them with her tact.

“As unbelievable as it may be, she is my younger sister, Natsuki Beatrice, but word on the street is that she looks nothing like her older brother.”

“Who are you introducing Betty to?” Beatrice asked. “You are weird as usual, big br… Subaru.”

“You were so close. You should’ve just finished your thought,” I said. “I’m really sad that you don’t call me big brother these days.”

“S-Stop speaking nonsense and get up! If you don’t, we’ll keep those twins waiting!”

“That’s not good. Alright, I’ll get changed. Beako, help me take my clothes off, would ya?”

“Do it yourself!” she exclaimed, throwing a pillow at my face before leaving the room.

The way she was acting out, despite interacting with her older brother, an event that should be heartwarming, made me wonder if she was going through her rebellious phase. She had even stopped taking baths with me. But the worst part of it all is the way she addresses me. It was hard to believe allowing her to call her own older brother by name was good for her upbringing. I just wished our parents would’ve done something, but they were rather liberal. No, actually, they’re just indifferent about such things. So it was up to me, as her older brother, to set a good example.

“And so I got changed and made my way downstairs,” I said as I walked down the stairs after having finished changing into my uniform, an empty school bag in hand. The faint aroma of toast hanging in the air indicated that breakfast was ready and set on the table.

“Mornin’!” a middle-aged man greeted me as soon as I opened the door.

“Yeah, yeah, mornin’, mornin’,” I said dismissively.

The middle-aged man pouted at my response in dissatisfaction. “Hey now, son, what’s with that cold response? You should be a little more like my beloved daughter.”

“What the?” I replied. “You played along with this old man’s enthusiastic ‘mornin’, Beako?”

“B-Because, if Betty doesn’t, Papa gets really sad,” she explained. “Betty doesn’t want to see this family fall apart because of Betty, I suppose.”

She seemed to have faced a terrible dilemma despite her young age. But then again, Beako’s classmate, Petra, also uses difficult words. I guess elementary school kids tend to be precocious these days. Kinda scary how quickly Japan is advancing.

“So,” I said, stretching my neck as I sat down, “what’s for breakfast today?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Mom replied while bringing the toast to the table. “Mayonnaise toast, mayonnaise soup, salad with mayonnaise, and fish stewed in mayonnaise.”

Our family’s breakfast had a fixed menu. And even though each dish could be categorized as Japanese-style or Western-style, they all had one ingredient in common: mayonnaise.

“If you want to use your own mayonnaise, get it from the fridge yourself,” Mom said. “Add more mayonnaise if it isn’t enough.”

“Yes ma’am,” I responded. “But this is really bizarre when you think about it. Are there even any other households where each family member has their own mayonnaise?”

“Back when Betty used to think this was normal, Petra laughed at her when she told her about it… Betty is still traumatized by that experience, I suppose.”

While sympathizing with my gloomy little sister, I proceeded to take out more mayonnaise from the fridge. My family consisted of mayonnaise fanatics who even had their own personal mayonnaise. This included me, of course. Beako was no exception, either.

That was how Natsuki family mornings always began. We were a family of four. Even though there was a problem with my little sister going through her rebellious phase, it was safe to say we were living peacefully in our happy, mundane life.

As I was enjoying my mayonnaise toast, which was just regular bread that was toasted after spreading some mayo across it, there was a ring at the door.

“Hm?” I said, before turning my attention to the clock. It was already time for me to get going. “Crap, I took too much time this morning.”

I shoved the rest of the mayonnaise toast in my mouth and washed it down with some mayonnaise soup. As I stood up, carrying my bag over my shoulder, Beako also got up from her seat with her randoseru bag on.

“...Why are you staring at Betty like that, I suppose?” asked Beatrice, noticing my gaze.

“No, it’s just that you look really good in a randoseru bag as always,” I replied. “If there was an award for the best randoseru bag wearer, you’d win it.”

“T-That’s not a compliment!”

As I patted the blushing Beako’s head, we headed to the door. Noticing that mom and dad had begun flirting behind us, we said our goodbyes in hushed voices and hurriedly left the room.

“Good morning, Subaru,” a young girl with blue hair down to her neck greeted me after I put my shoes on and exited the front door. It was Rem.

As usual, Rem’s smile was like a flower in full bloom, and her voice was full of liveliness. In fact, she’s so beautiful that even though we’re just childhood friends, I’m afraid someone might stab me for having her meet with me every morning before school. Despite my fear, however, I had no intention of giving up this routine.

“Is there something wrong?” asked Rem. “Why are you staring at Rem’s face like that?”

“Nah, it’s nothing,” I said, unable to confess that I was captivated by her beauty. “Good mornin’.”

“Yes, good morning!” she responded without minding my strange behavior.

Ever since we were little kids, she was never the intrusive type. This was one of the qualities I liked about her.

“Good morning to you too, Beatrice,” Rem said, turning her attention to her.

“Good morning, in fact,” she responded. “You’re a really devoted one, I suppose, coming all the way here just for Subaru every morning. I swear, you have really strange tastes compared to your older sister.”

“Wouldn’t that mean you also have strange tastes, Beatrice?” Rem asked.

“Why would that mean that Betty has strange tastes?!”

I watched Rem tease Beako from the sidelines. Just as she was my childhood friend, Rem was a long-time friend of Beako. She was like her older sister. And she adored Beako like a real sister, but Beako refused to accept this. Maybe this also has something to do with her rebellious phase. Jeez, I just wish she would grow up already.

“Speaking of younger sisters,” I said. “Where is your older sister today?”

“She’s at Roswaal’s place this morning,” answered Rem. “He’s going out for an interview today, so he asked her to clean his house while he’s away.”

“She’s as diligent as ever,” I said. “Though I have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal as Ram’s close friend.”

The girl we were talking about, Ram, was Rem’s older twin sister. Unlike Rem, who was gentle and gracious, Ram was rather strict and harsh to others. Even though they are identical in appearance, their personalities couldn’t be more different.

Apparently, Ram had been charmed by a famous writer, and had been aggressively making a move on him. From Rem’s story, it sounded like she already had a key to his house. Although, this really isn’t the kinda stuff I wanna know about my classmate. Rem stared at me with her head tilted. I was unsure whether she was indifferent about the situation or simply oblivious about it, but I decided to drop the topic nonetheless.

“Hey, what are you two doing chatting in front of the house, in fact,” Beako said. “We better get going, I suppose.”

“Oh, roger that,” I responded. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Yes,” Rem said. “Let’s depart.”

Throwing my bag over my shoulder, we began walking. Beatrice was in the middle, with me walking along the road and Rem on the other side. This was how we walked to school whenever Ram wasn’t with us.

“By the way,” Rem started, “your horoscope had the best luck today, Subaru.”

“Seriously?” I said. “So something good might happen today, huh? I didn’t know at all since we don’t watch TV in the morning at our place.”

“It said you’ll meet someone great today,” continued Rem. “It said the first girl you meet today is your soulmate.”

“Betty is the first girl Subaru met today, in fact.”

“Rem’s mistake. The third girl you meet today is your soulmate.”

“The horoscope was that specific?!” I exclaimed.

Who was the third girl, again? Does my mom count? If not, then Rem would be the third girl I met today. But wouldn’t it be weird to say I ‘met’ Rem today when I’ve known her for a long time? I’m also still skeptical if I should add my own sister and mother into this.

As I tilted my head in contemplation, a girl’s voice stopped us in our tracks. “Oh, what perfect timing to run into you here.”

She was a beautiful woman with pale skin and white hair, dressed completely in black as if she was on her way to a funeral.

Noticing it was a girl I knew well, I greeted her. “Hey, good morning, Echidna.”

Echidna was a university student and the eldest… Or was it the third? Daughter of the suspicious family who owns the mansion we pass by everyday on our way to school.

“What do you mean by perfect timing?” I asked. “Did something happen?”

“Yes, something did happen,” responded Echidna. “Or shall I say, there was a disappearance? You three remember my depraved sister, right? Well, she seemed to have vanished somewhere. I’m worried that she collapsed in the middle of the road somewhere while taking a stroll, so I’m out here looking for her. You haven’t seen her by any chance, have you?”

“You mean Sekhmet?” Rem asked rhetorically. “No, Rem hasn’t seen her. You haven’t either, right, Subaru?”

“I haven’t seen her today, either,” I responded. “If I remember correctly, last time she went missing, she went to take out the garbage and fell asleep next to the dumpster, right? The garbage collector guy said it was a feast for the eyes.”

Echidna’s older sister, Sekmet, was also beautiful but infamous for her slothfulness. She was often seen walking around in clothes that were as exposing as underwear, which was something I was always thankful for as a member of the opposite sex in the same age range. At the same time, however, she seemed more like a person who needed help and care than just a simple sexy lady, which was a great disappointment.

“Well, that aside,” I said as I put my hand on my jaw and stared at Echidna intently.

“Hm? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?” Echidna reacted to my gaze.

She was beautiful. If I’m not counting mom in the equation, that would mean Echidna is the third girl I’ve met today. Could she be my soulmate?

“You’re going to make me blush if you keep staring at me like that,” she said. “I am still a girl, after all. Besides, I only left the house to look for my sister, so I didn’t put any makeup on.”

“She’s right, it’s not very gentlemanly, Subaru,” Rem agreed, grabbing my arm. “You’re troubling Echidna. You must calm down and reconsider who the third girl was. It was Rem.”

“Your desires are spilling out, I suppose,” Beatrice said, grabbing my other arm. “But Betty agrees that this woman is no good, in fact.”

“What’s gotten into you two?!”

Despite Echidna’s apparent joke, the two girls grabbing my arms from both sides looked deadly serious. I swear, girls sure love these stupid fortune tellings.

“Echidna!” came another voice. “Big sister wasn’t at the dumpster!” A blonde loli girl with blue eyes and giant boobs came running towards us, screaming. She was the second oldest among Echidna’s siblings.

“Hey, Minerva,” I said, calling her name.

“Hm?! Oh, if it isn’t Rem, Beatrice, and Natsuki!” Minerva replied, halting and flashing a bright smile. “What are you three doing here?”

She was beautiful as ever. Instinctively, I took her hands and said, “Not counting my mother and sister, you are the third. Meaning, you’re my soulmate, Minerva!”

“Wha—?!”

As I grabbed onto her soft hands, Minerva looked back and forth between her hands and my face. Her face rapidly began blushing, until it was completely red.

“B-But, I can only do house chores,” she said, trembling.

“I’ll provide for you,” I responded.

“I-I’m also really clumsy!”

“I love that part of you, too.”

“I-I also have to fight for world peace!”

“You are my whole world.”

With her face as red as a boiled octopus, Minerva shrieked and stomped in place. Damn, she’s really cute. I might’ve teased her too much. The fact that it seemed possible to make her my wife right then and there was rather frightening. I wonder if anyone’s ever tried to seduce her, considering how cute she is.

“Calm down Minerva,” said Echidna. “It's just one of Natsuki’s usual shenanigans.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Well,” I began, “I can’t admit that I was messing with you, since that’ll make me scummy, so the answer is no, I’m dead seri…ow, ow, ow, Rem, your heel is sinking into my toes.” Rem was stepping on my toes with a smile on her face. I had no choice but to concede.

Minerva placed her hands on her giant bosom, and let out a big sigh. “O-Of course. Oh, you scared me there. I was so surprised, my breasts might’ve shrunk a little.”

“That would be a loss to humanity!” I exclaimed, trembling, to which Minerva punched me.

“Shut up! You idiot!”

Despite being hit quite hard, it felt good. So strange.

“Whatever, we didn’t see your sister, I suppose. That’s the end of the story, in fact.”

“Oh, you sound bitter,” Echidna said. “Are you upset we’re getting all your brother’s attention?”

“It’s not like that!” Beatrice exclaimed, puffing up her cheeks. “Betty really hates this, in fact!”

She looks really mad. She must really hate that we’re wasting our time on our way to school. However, as she pointed out, it was evident that we would be of no help to Echidna and Minerva. And school was starting soon, so it was about time we took our leave.

“Sorry we couldn’t be of any help to you two,” I said, before leaving.

“No, you kids need to prioritize your studies,” Echidna responded. “Besides, this is our family’s problem.”

“You sound like an old lady, I suppose,” Beatrice jabbed.

“Of course I’d sound old to you, considering I’m a college student with a lot of time on her hands, whereas you’re only a child.”

“I’m helping out with the household right now, so I have a lot of time on my hands too!” Minerva exclaimed.

“You rarely help out, though?” Echidna jabbed.

“Same goes for Rem’s sister,” Rem added.

“I think her unhelpfulness is incomparable,” I commented.

It was an awkward way to end our interaction, but we parted ways after promising them we would call them if we saw Sekhmet. Watching Minerva run off into the distance, and Echidna slowly walk off, made me truly wonder if they were really related. Well, I guess one similarity would be that they’re both really pretty.

“Subaru, Subaru,” Rem called me.

“Yes, Rem, what is it?”

“Rem just remembered. The horoscope this morning said your soulmate’s name starts with R and ends with M, and is three letters in total.”

“It was that exclusive?!”

2

As we were leisurely walking after parting ways with Echidna and Minerva, we arrived at a fork in the road, separating our school and Beatrice’s elementary school. This is where Rem and I are gonna say goodbye to Beako.

“Ah, Beatrice!” a girl with maroonish-red hair and cutesy wide eyes, who was waiting for us at the fork in the road, called Beatrice’s name.

“If it isn’t Petra, I suppose,” Beatrice said, responding to her classmate.

“Good morning, Subaru, Rem,” Petra greeted, bowing to us. What a well mannered young lady.

In terms of attractiveness, my little sister was on equal footing, but Petra was more charming. Well, Beako could be charming too, once you got to know her.

“What?” she asked. “If there’s something you want to say, come out and say it, I suppose.”

“I’m the only one who knows your good qualities,” I said.

“What do you mean by ‘only’?!” she exclaimed. “Betty isn’t hiding them! In fact, she has so many that she has lost count!”

I patted her head, saying, “I get it, I get it,” as she continued yelling, waving her vertically curled hair. For some reason, though, this made her even madder. I swear, girls her age are so hard to understand.

“Don’t worry Subaru,” Petra interjected. “I know a lot of Beatrice’s good qualities too.”

“I see, that’s reassuring,” I said. “Take good care of Beako at school too, okay?”

“Yes, of course! And… What about my good qualities? Do you recognize them too?”

“An obvious one would be that you’re an exceptionally kind girl, Petra,” I responded. “You’re also respectful, gentle, friends with Beako, and above all else, a pretty young girl who’ll surely grow up to be a beautiful lady someday.”

Petra smirked and offered her head to be patted, which I then did. I shouldn’t be patting someone else’s daughter in this day and age, but she has this powerrr that doesn’t let me say no. Now that I think about it, doesn’t she make me pat her every time we meet? Nah, I must be overthinking it.

“Mmmm,” Rem groaned.

“Boo, I suppose,” Beatrice booed.

“And what are you two pouting about?” I asked.

“Nothing,” said Rem, turning her face away.

“You don’t need to know,” answered Beatrice, looking the other way.

There was nothing more I could do. I understood that whenever a girl said there was nothing wrong, there was absolutely something wrong. However, in this instance, I couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

“Petra, do you think you know what they’re pouting about?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m only a child.”

That’s true.

She then slipped out from beneath my hand, and, taking the still-pouting Beako’s hand, bowed to me and Rem. “We’ll be going now. Typhon is the class leader today. If we don’t hurry and go, the classroom is going to be a mess.”

“Are you implying that she’s gonna mess up the classroom?!” I exclaimed.

“That’s Typhon’s quirk, I suppose. We’re leaving now, in fact!” Beatrice said, as Petra pulled her away.

Rem and I waved at the two elementary schoolers as they ran off.

“Well then, let’s get going as well,” I said.

“Do you also recognize Rem’s good qualities, Subaru?”

“You’re cute.”

“Don’t think saying that’ll let you off the hook every time,” she replied somewhat cheerfully.

Guess I’m off the hook then. Maybe I should’ve given more thought to my answer, but I’d become completely dependent on this answer since it’s always worked ever since we were little.

As I pulled Rem, who was looking downwards, another voice spoke to us.

“Are ya spoilin’ Rem again, Cap’n?”

“Ahh, didn’t I say to hang back and watch, Gaf-Gaf?”

When I turned around to see who they were, two figures were poking their heads out from behind the utility pole in the middle of the fork in the road. One of them was wearing a gakuran, while the other was wearing a sailor outfit. I instantly recognized them as they were both close acquaintances.

“Garfiel and Daphne, what’re you two middle schoolers doing here?”

“Who cares what we’re doin’ or where we’re at,” Garfiel answered, condescendingly. “Bringin’ the topic back to you, Cap’n, you’re breakin’ too many hearts out here, as usual. Right, Daphne?”

“Gaf-Gaf was waiting for Ram-Ram here as usual,” said Daphne, selling him out. “Daphne didn’t want to go search for Met-Met, so she decided to play with Gaf-Gaf.”

“Daphne, you!” Garfiel cried indignantly.

Seeing his condescending smile subside, it was now my turn to laugh at him mockingly. “Heh, I see, so that’s how it is,” I said. “So you’re the one doing his usual thing, huh? I gotta ask, are you ever gonna give up? Ram is head over heels for a novelist.”

“T-That’s my amazing self’s business!” Garfiel exclaimed. “Besides, if I become a novelist, my amazin’ self’ll be on equal footing!”

“I admire your conviction to determine your future for the girl you love, but…”

I was hesitant to continue my thought. Firstly, it was hard to imagine that Garfiel would be able to become a novelist with his level of intelligence. And secondly, Ram wasn’t the type of girl to fall in love with someone based on their occupation.

“Well, first of all, with your level of intelligence, Gaf-Gaf, you’ll never be able to become a novelist. Besides, Ram-Ram isn’t in love with every novelist in the world.”

“Thank you for bluntly telling him what I was too hesitant to say.”

As dumbfounded as I was for Daphne to come out and say everything I decided to refrain from saying out of consideration, it was much better than how Garfiel, who was collapsed on his knees, must’ve been feeling. However, Garfiel was a man of great dignity. Despite his pummeled spirit, he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel.

“Are you okay, Garfiel?” I asked. “Your wounds aren’t that deep.”

“Heh, thanks Cap’n,” he replied. “But I won’t lose to something like this… Speakin’ of which, ain’t Ram with ya today?”

“She’s at Roswaal’s place this morning,” answered Rem. “She was asked to look after his house while he’s away, and went to pick up a spare key.”

“Guhah!” exasperated Garfiel, collapsing on the spot after hearing Rem’s non-ill-intended words.

“G-Garfiel!” I exclaimed.

Even I was uncomfortable hearing how deep Ram’s infatuation went. It must’ve been a great blow for Garfiel, who had feelings for her, to hear that she was getting a spare key to another man’s house. I couldn’t come up with anything to say that would make him feel better.

“Well, including all his shortcomings, this is what makes Gaf-Gaf who he is,” Daphne said, flashing an alluring smile that was unnatural for a middle schooler, as she grabbed onto Garfiel’s feet. “You two can go on your way. Daphne will take care of the rest from here.”

Worried that she was going to start dragging Garfiel by his feet, I extended my hand to stop her. However…

“Not to worry,” she said, “Gaf-Gaf is a softie, so being gentle with him will only make him weaker. Besiiides, once we get to school, there’ll be people like Mimi, who’ll give him attention. It’s better to put him in his place when we can.”

“I-Is that so?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes, it is,” she replied, faintly smiling as she tilted her head. “Well then, see you around.”

And so she proceeded to drag Garfiel away. At that point, stopping her would’ve been out of bounds. Middle schoolers have their own way of dealing with things, and it isn’t our place to interfere. “At least that’s what I’ll tell myself. I don’t wanna know more about their affairs.”

“To even make such an innocent young middle schooler go head over heels for her… Sister is truly amazing!”

“I can’t agree with that comment!”

Oh, forgot to mention this, but Daphne is the fifth daughter of the sisters, where Sekhmet is the eldest. Just so you know. This morning sure has been lively though, huh.

3

After parting ways with the middle school duo, Rem and I arrived at our school, Lugunica High School.

Lugunica High School was a school that kept its antiquated traditions. However, in recent years, it had put in an effort to modernize it, and as a result, became a diverse place home to a variety of differing values. Although I chose this place simply because it was close to my home, I was decently enjoying its rather liberal style.

“Ah, Subaru, they’re conducting a bag inspection,” Rem informed me, noticing the inspection that was going on at the school gate before I could with her superior eyesight.

“That must be the student council. They sure put in a lot of hard work from the wee hours of the morning.”

As we got closer to the gate, I finally saw the inspection as well. Lugunica High School conducts events such as bag inspections or morning assembly every now and then. This all started when the current student council was established. And at the center of this student council was the elite woman president who was overseeing this morning’s bag inspection.

“Good morning, Natsuki Subaru and Rem,” said the student council president.

“Mornin’ Ms. Student Council President.”

“Good Morning, Crusch,” Rem greeted.

The student council president Crusch Karsten stood tall with her shoulders square, wearing a crisply maintained navy blue blazer. Her distinctive long green hair and dignifying look gave off an air of manliness despite her sex. However, her curves made her femininity apparent, so it would be more accurate to say she gave off a warrior-like aura.

“As you can see, we’re conducting a bag inspection this morning,” Crusch said. “We’d appreciate it if you two could cooperate.”

“Yeah, feel free to look all you want,” I responded, handing her my bag. “It’s empty, anyways.”

“Although you shouldn’t be proud of that, it would seem you outplayed me this time,” she replied, shaking her head as she confirmed that my bag was empty. “How interesting,” she continued, smirking like a hero from a Hollywood movie.

“I wasn’t trying to challenge you.”

“Alrighty then,” another person who suddenly appeared from the side said cheerfully. “I, Ferris, will check Rem’s bag!”

The person was Ferris, Crusch’s right-hand man.

Adorning a cat-ear headband as usual, Ferris began inspecting Rem’s bag as his audaciously short skirt flapped in the wind. The idea that a girl should inspect another girl’s belongings sure becomes pointless with Ferris, I thought, as he was in fact a man.

“I get that he looks good in girl’s clothes, but don’t you get complaints about a guy inspecting girls’ stuff?” I asked.

“That does not pose an issue,” Crusch answered. “Everyone is aware of Ferris’s above average femininity. In fact, the number of men asking to have their bags inspected by me and girls asking Ferris is about the same.”

“Girls might be different, but some guys get off from that… Wait, I’m different, though! Don’t put me in the same category as those kinda guys!” Suddenly, I became worried about how people perceived me for naturally handing my bag to Crusch for inspection. Meanwhile, Ferris continued inspecting Rem’s belongings.

“Huh? Why do you have a pencil box for boys?” he asked.

“That’s for Subaru in case he forgot his,” responded Rem.

“Then how about this plain old notebook without any cute features?”

“It’s for assignments that Rem does for Subaru while imitating his handwriting.”

“Hmm, then how about this lunch box?”

“Rem prepared that for Subaru in case he’s unable to buy anything at the food shop.”

“Alright, let’s punish Subaru,” concluded Ferris.

“What the hell?!” I exclaimed

I mean, I get it. I do. But still!

Following Ferris’s condemnation, I leaned towards Rem. “Rem, don’t I always tell you that you don’t have to do so much for me?”

“Sorry,” she said. “Rem is painfully aware of that. But whenever she imagines you crying about something, she just can’t help it. She starts preparing for every possible scenario.”

“I appreciate that, but I won’t cry just because I forget my pencil lead, or not do my homework, or fail to eat lunch!”

Even though I’d never cried for such trivial reasons before, Rem still seemed to have seen me as a child. At one point, there was a rumor in our class that Rem was my caretaker, but it was beginning to become true.

“Talk about young love,” Ferris commented. “Am I right or am I right, Lady Crusch?”

“Agreed,” Crusch concurred. “Ferris and I make lunch for each other as well. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, but if you do not want to be the only one taken care of, you should express your gratitude every once in a while.”

“I made your favorite omelet today, Lady Crusch,” said Ferris. “The sweet kind.”

“I also made your favorite omelet today,” responded Crusch. “The salty kind.”

Ignoring the lovey-dovey student council president and her vice president, I picked up the lunch box Rem prepared for me. Wrapped in a blue cloth, it was twice the size of Rem’s own lunch box and quite heavy.

“Jeez, what were you gonna do with this if I didn’t eat this?”

“Rem thought she and her sister could have it for dinner.”

“That’s so sad, don’t do that. Just tell me next time. I’ll be having this for lunch today, thanks. Could you also show me the answers to the homework?”

“Yes, Rem will be looking forward to lunch.”

Cramming the lunch box in my bag that had just been handed back to me, we started walking towards the school building. That was when we noticed a ruckus from the side, where they were also conducting a bag inspection.

“Like I said! Why are you like that?! Could ya not make me repeat myself? I ain’t sayin’ anythin’ difficult, am I?”

“I do not believe I am saying anything difficult to grasp, either. It is you who is refusing to listen to my sound advice and causing a scene. You are the prime example of an ignoramus.”

“Do ya think usin’ big words makes ya sound respectable? That’s just embarrasin’. You’re in high school already, why don’t ya grow up? It’s cringe.”

“Don’t you dare criticize the way I talk when you cannot even hide the vulgarity in your speech. I may be forgiving, but I also have my limits.”

The atmosphere around the front gate was turning tense due to the heated argument between the two female students with distinctive appearances.

One of the girls was a beautiful young girl with purple hair and a prepubescent physique that could be mistaken for a middle school student. The girl she was arguing with, on the other hand, was also a beautiful young girl, who had the body of a fully matured woman and orange hair that exuded an alluring charm.

The girl who spoke with an accent was Anastasia of the student council, and the girl who spoke with sophisticated vernacular was Priscilla, the troublemaker of the school. They often butted heads as the student council accountant and the granddaughter of the chairman of the school board.

“They’re at it again,” said Rem, sighing at the usual sight.

Their antagonizing relationship was famous all around the school. The relationship between Priscilla, who bowed to no one, and Anastasia, who never backed down from a fight, was like oil and fire. From what I saw, I suspected they were fighting about the uniform Priscilla was wearing, which she had obviously customized to her own preferences. Well, Priscilla isn’t willing to follow any school rules, including its rules on uniforms. One could say it’s a win that she’s even wearing the uniform despite it being changed in every way.

“But I bet she’s the only one who could get that money-mongering accountant so worked up,” I commented as I watched the commotion from a distance.

Then a voice suddenly came raining down on me from behind. “I would appreciate it if you would refrain from referring to Ana with such a slanderous nickname.”

“Geh,” I exasperated, feeling goosebumps appearing because of the condescending voice.

When I turned around, there was a good-looking, gentlemanly bastard towering over me. He was also a member of the student council.

“Sup Julius, my senior,” I greeted the man.

“I do not know why you call me that when we are in the same grade,” replied Julius, as he pushed back his bangs. “But that aside, please rescind the earlier remark you made about Ana. She is only a little bit obsessed with monetary affairs, and loves her job too much.”

“I think that opinion is a little more than biased.”

Julius was something called a student council secretary. As indicated by his rhetoric, he was a loyal follower of Anastasia, and they were often seen together.

“Don’t you have a job to do? I’ll tell on you to Crusch that you’re slacking off.”

“As a matter of fact, I am done with my job,” said Julius, flashing his pearly whites. “Although it was quite a workload with so many girls wanting to have their bags inspected by me, they were very cooperative, so it made my job a lot easier.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever man,” I said, scouring.

Why can’t girls see through this guy’s phoniness? I thought, before remembering that it wasn’t only girls who were in love with Julius. Men also speak highly of him too. Which means I must be the only one who can see through his act. I clicked my tongue. Truth makes a man lonely, doesn’t it?

“Rem wonders what they’re arguing about today.”

“Obviously, they were arguing about her outfit too, but the biggest problem was the way Priscilla was handling her bag,” Julius explained. “She was making Al carry it for her instead of holding it herself.”

“Al is that guy wearing a mask, right?” I confirmed.

There was a man next to Anastasia and Priscilla, standing anxiously as the two girls continued their heated argument. He wasn’t particularly tall, but was well built. He looked about the same age as my dad, but it was impossible to say for sure due to the mask he was wearing.

There were several rumors circulating about this mask. Some say he’s hiding a horrible burn mark, while others suggest that his face is covered in stitches. Personally, I’d like to think Priscilla was making him wear it on a whim. I mean, not only does he change his mask everyday, he doesn’t strike me as a guy with a dark past at all.

To add on to his distinctive characteristics, Al had a prosthetic left arm. From what I’ve heard, it was high quality and acquired through Priscilla’s family connections. One time, he’d opened a can of peaches for me with a can opener equipped to his arm. His arm was like a swiss army knife.

“How many times do I gotta tell ya?!” Anastasia’s voice echoed. “An outsider can’t enter the school buildin’. You know how stressin’ it is to hafta kick out a grown ass man I find wanderin’ around the buildin’?”

“That is none of my business,” Priscilla retorted. “No one is asking you to kick him out. Ignore him. He is only ever there to tend to me anyways. Additionally, if he is not around, who then will carry my bag? I refuse to hold anything heavier than a pair of chopsticks.”

“It’s empty! It’s practically the same weight as a pair of chopsticks!”

Anastasia was evidently getting irritated every time Priscilla talked back. The intensity of the situation kept escalating to the point I feared a catfight might break out if it continued any further. In which case, Anastasia would’ve been the one to get hurt. Though she may not look it, Priscilla was unexpectedly athletic. In fact, it was even possible that she was provoking Anastasia to get her to throw the first punch. No, no, I’m overthinking it. She’s just naturally defiant.

“Things are not looking good for Ana,” Julius commented. “I guess I have no choice but to go and stop them.”

“Yeah, yeah, go do that,” I agreed. “Before they get into a catfight and things get really messy with Nurse Elsa hearing about it.”

Nurse Elsa was the school nurse known for her sexually provocative appearance and speech quirk. She was always quick to hear about any conflict that happened in the school and often appeared to neutralize the situation, claiming she couldn’t help her old habits. Every student who was taken to the infirmary by her always came back completely obedient. Nobody knew what was done to them there, as she refused to answer. Consequently, the general consensus was that she conducts a horrific operation on her patient’s digestive system to make them docile.

“Class is about to start, anywho,” said Crusch, who was now by our side. “Go on ahead to your classroom, Natsuki Subaru. We will take care of the rest.”

“Oh no, we drew the short meowraw,” added Ferris.

“Voluntarily drawing the short straw to improve the school is part of the student council’s job.”

With that, the three student council members walked off toward the scene of the commotion. I’m sure even Priscilla will back off once she’s facing those three.

“We’ve been here too long,” I said. “Let’s get to our classroom. I’m tired.”

“There’s so much going on this morning,” commented Rem.

“Seriously. Although, I’m sure there won’t be any more problems.”

There was a good possibility that I had jinxed myself by saying such a thing. Even though I truly wished to not encounter any more problems when I had said it, it seemed as though God had other plans for me. The next problem appeared after I changed into my school shoes and started walking towards my classroom.

“Hey, Subaru! Think fast, receive!”

“Huh?”

Startled by the sudden voice and a girl running towards me, I instinctively lowered my hips and went into a receiving position for volleyball as instructed. Then, a small foot landed on my hands.

“Blue Mountain Receive!” yelled the figure.

Reacting to what seemed to be the name of a technique, I swung my arms upward with the person on my hands, letting out a great “Hmph!” Though I wouldn’t say the girl was as light as a volleyball, she successfully flew over my head and landed on top of the shoe rack behind me.

I turned around to see what the fuss was all about. However, the girl just put her index finger on her lips, indicating to me to keep quiet, with a shushing sound. Rem and I looked at each other, confused by the whole situation. Then, from the same direction the girl came, an insanely handsome man flashing a million dollar smile came running.

“Perfect timing. Rem, Subaru,” the man said.

He had distinctive red hair, eyes blue as a clear sky, and a physical appearance that screamed perfection. He was Reinhard, the school stud beloved by every girl in school and even the ladies in the shopping district, who was now approaching me with a rather distressed expression.

“Yo, wussup?” I said.

“It’s nothing dire,” he said. “But have you two seen Felt by any chance?”

“Felt?” Rem responded. “Well, she’s uhh…”

Rem turned to me with a troubled look. However, I quickly grasped the situation. What now? I wondered for a second before letting out a sigh of exasperation. Guess I have no choice.

“Nah, haven’t seen her yet,” I lied. “Why? Is something the matter?”

“No,” answered Reinhard. “I just ran into her earlier, so I wanted to invite her out to lunch… But before I could, she suddenly started running as soon as our eyes met.”

“Sounds like Felt,” I commented. “And you don’t give up easily either, do ya?”

As a fellow man, I admired his tenacity, but also wondered why he was so obsessed with Felt. “I mean, I’m not saying you could just snag any girl you want, but with your looks, you shouldn’t have any problem finding a girlfriend.”

“It’s hard to explain,” Reinhard replied. “Isn’t that how these things work? Don’t you think so, Subaru? Rem?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“Rem thinks so too!” Rem responded enthusiastically. “So Rem will be rooting for you!”

Looking happy at Rem’s words, Reinhard straightened his collar. “Well then, I’ll go look for her.”

“Why don’t you just wait for her in the classroom?” I suggested. “Class is about to start anyways.”

“Giving up on what I haven’t finished isn’t my style. I want to at least greet her properly.” Then he raised his hand and said, “See you two, then,” and walked off.

Even though he was only walking, Reinhard was gone from our sight in the blink of an eye. Confirming that he was completely gone, I sighed and tapped on the shoe rack behind me. “Yo, he’s gone. You can come down now.”

“‘Kay! Thanks,” the girl said in a nonchalant voice. I heard her landing on the floor behind me.

She was a short girl with gold hair, crimson eyes, and a distinctive fang. Her name was Felt. She was the luckiest girl in school who captured the attention of Reinhard. Although, she’d always emphasize ‘reluctantly’ whenever she was told this.

“You shouldn’t be so cold to him,” I said. “I feel bad for him.”

“I’m the one you should feel bad for,” said Felt. “Who the hell asked him to pursue me? I’m the real victim here.”

“Reinhard is so passionate about you though,” Rem said. “Do you not like him, Felt?”

“‘Course I don’t. And don’t go gettin’ the wrong idea. He only likes me cuz I’m different. It’s like when a person gets excited by findin’ a rare species. Gimme a break.”

Felt didn’t have anything good to say about Reinhard as usual. Even though she was living a life more romantic than your average Shoujo manga and as romantic as Cinderella, her attitude remained indifferent. As much as I sympathized with Reinhard as his friend, I also understood where Felt was coming from.

“You kinda do have a point,” I said. “These things are tricky, huh?”

Reinhard was so used to being approached, he was quite inept at being the approacher. It was natural for Felt to be suspicious of his intentions with how awkward he acted. But as a bystander, I knew it was only a problem of miscommunication, which made them frustrating to watch.

“Well, I guess it’s hard to objectively assess our own actions,” I said.

“Yes, Rem agrees,” Rem responded. “She absolutely agrees. You are right. Absolutely right.”

“Rem? What’s with the aggression? Did I say something weird?”

“Who knows,” Rem said, turning her face away.

As I contemplated Rem’s strange behavior, Felt dusted her skirt and stretched her upper body. “Welp, I’m gonna keep runnin’ til class starts. Even he won’t come after me once the bell rings.”

“That’s until the seat-change,” I said. “With his tenacity, I have a feeling that he’ll manage to get a seat somewhere near yours.”

“Don’t say things like that man. You’re gonna jinx my peaceful school life.”

Turning pale at my words, she went running off in the opposite direction Reinhard went. The fact that Reinhard would find her two minutes later and get into a wild chase was a story for another time.

“Surely there won’t be any more problems,” I said, feeling like I was submitting my request to God. “Or else I’m gonna use up my energy for the day.”

“Rem is sure there won’t be any more,” Rem said, reassuring me.

I was certain a quiet, peaceful day was finally starting. However, as soon as I opened the classroom door, I was greeted by a yelling figure.

“Have you heard, Mr. Natsuki?!” the figure said, screaming. “A transfer student is apparently coming today!”

“Can’t you read my mood?! You freakin’ idiot!” I yelled back at them.

“Why am I getting scolded?!”

The screaming figure was Otto, the guy who sat behind me. He’d always seemed like an unlucky kinda guy, which was just proven by him making me even more irritated than I already was.

Placing my bag on my desk, I slouched in my chair. “Look, man. Forget about all this transfer student stuff. I’m already tired from all the things that happened this morning. You get it, don’t ya? So, postpone it.”

“We can’t send the transfer student home just because you’re tired, Mr. Natsuki,” Otto responded. “By the way, why are you so tired? Did you do something you can’t speak of early this morning?”

“There were too many characters, I don’t even know where to begin. So much so that I’m sure nobody even remembers my sister’s name.”

“You’ll make Beatrice cry!”

Actually, Beako isn’t the sensitive type, so she won’t cry because of something like that… Actually, now that I think about it, she acts tough, but she can be pretty soft. She might actually cry. That won’t be good. Seeing little kids cry breaks my heart—and I definitely can’t stand to see Beako cry.

“Fine, I’ll forgive you for Beako’s sake.”

“Thank you… Wait, how does that make any sense?”

“So, what business does the confused Otto have?” Rem asked, jumping into the conversation from her seat, which was to my right.

“I don’t think I’m the one who’s confused… No, nevermind,” Otto replied, scratching his head as he gave up on retorting, and continued whispering. “Like I said, there’s a transfer student. I heard the teachers talking about it when I went to the faculty room. Apparently, they’re transferring to our class.”

“I’ve been meaning to say this, but you’ve really assumed the role of the best friend in dating sims, you know?” I said. “What do the girls in this class think of me by the way?”

“Other than Rem, everyone thinks you have mean-looking eyes.”

“Are you serious? Like, really? You’re not joking, are you? Please say that you are. Hey, come on, are you really serious?”

Otto’s evaluation erased the possibility of there being any girl who was too shy to make a move on me because my childhood friend Rem was always by my side.

“Transfer student though, huh?” Rem said. “How rare. Is it a boy or girl?”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know the details.”

Rem sighed loudly. “I see.”

“You know, sighing like that hurts more than being insulted right to my face!”

Otto was the class clown everyone picked on. His yelling was on point as usual, and Rem nodded in satisfaction upon hearing it.

The bell rang and the students who were outside started entering the classroom. Among them were the student council members, Crusch, Ferris, Julius, and Anastasia, who were on bag inspection duty. Following them was the ever-so-prideful Priscilla, trailed by Al carrying her bag. He quickly left the room as soon as he placed her bag on her desk.

When I turned my attention away from them, I saw Ram, who had entered the classroom without my realizing, taking her seat in front of her sister. Seeing as how she flashed a peace sign at Rem, it seemed as though her meeting with Roswaal went well.

Right before the bell stopped ringing, Reinhard came into the classroom, followed by Felt, who hurriedly came in just as the bell stopped. Reinhard flashed a faint smile at her from his seat, to which she stuck her tongue out.

And so, everyone in the class was present. There was only one seat left empty in the corner of the last row. I assumed that was where the transfer student Otto was talking about was going to sit.

“I was skeptical at first, but seeing that seat makes his story seem more believable,” I muttered to myself.

“Mr. Natsuki, do you have something against…” began Otto before being interrupted by Rem.

“Oh, Miss Frederica is here.”

I could sense Otto sulk behind me, but I obviously chose to ignore him. The classroom went completely silent.

The door opened, and a tall woman with good posture walked in. She had long blonde hair and emerald eyes. Dressed in a tight-fitting suit, she exuded youthful energy. The only distinctive flaw was her ferocious-looking mouth, but said imperfection was what made her easy to get along with. She was Miss Frederica, our teacher. She was also the older sister of Garfiel, who we encountered on our way to school.

“Stand up,” Crusch commanded in a clear voice from the front row.

Everyone stood up in unison. Even the rebellious Priscilla followed suit. This shows that this command is ingrained in our DNA.

“Greet,” Crusch commanded again.

“Good morning,” overlapping voices resonated.

Everyone’s voice varied slightly. I said it in an earnest voice, whereas Rem sounded much more disciplined.

“Take your seats,” Crusch commanded one last time.

Everyone took a seat, making louder noises than when they stood up. As the creaking sounds of the seats subsided, it was finally Miss Frederica's moment to start talking.

“Well, good morning everyone,” she said. “I’m sure many of you aren’t enthusiastic about the weekend ending, but that goes the same for us teachers, so bear with it, okay?”

Her unexpected joke softened the somewhat tense mood filling the classroom due to it being Monday. She then pointed at the empty seat in the back.

“I’m sure many of you who have noticed that seat, or have heard from Otto who was eavesdropping, know by now, but we have a transfer student today.”

“She knows you were eavesdropping,” I said.

“Huh? That’s strange,” Otto said, tilting his head. “I was being extra careful, though…”

“Principal Wilhelm noticed you,” Miss Frederica explained, to which he nodded in understanding.

Principal Wilhelm was an elderly man who was not to be underestimated. No matter how much he tried to hide his nature with his soft persona, he was unable to conceal his exuding air of competency. He would often appear out of nowhere, and either lend a helping hand in solving a problem or brag about his family. No one could escape Principal Wilhelm’s eyes. This was common knowledge shared by everyone in Lugunica High School.

“Leaving aside Otto Suwen’s carelessness,” Crusch said, “a transfer student is rare.”

“True,” Ferris added. “It’s not even the beginning of the school year or semester. Now that I think about it, a transfer student in high school is quite uncommon. Although, it is a common occurrence in manga…”

“And just as you would commonly see in a manga,” Miss Frederica began, “the transfer student is a girl.”

Some of the boys in the class got a little too excited at Miss Frederica's last remark. The Ton-Chin-Kan trio were particularly loud. Jeez, don’t they realize we already have more than enough pretty girls in our class, and adding one more would just add one more girl we can’t do anything about? I pitied them, even though I was the loudest one there.

“So you’re happy that the transfer student is a girl too, huh, Subaru?” Rem asked.

“I thought I should at least act like I was happy,” I responded. “I’d obviously welcome anyone even if they’re a boy. It’s hard to imagine any greater tragedy than having guys like Reinhard and Julius in the same class.”

By having the two most popular guys in the same class, all the other men had given up on attracting female attention. In a way, this helped unify the boys in the class into one. So even if we had a male transfer student, we were all ready to accept the new victim with open arms.

“This class already has too many good looking guys and girls,” I said. “It’s honestly overkill with girls like Crusch, Anastasia, Felt, Priscilla, Ram, and you. I suppose I can add Ferris to the list as well.”

“You’re also included in the list of good looking people,” Rem said.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’m super popular with a niche group of people who love sanpaku eyes!”

I knew Rem was only trying to make me feel better, but my life experiences made me too cynical to be happy by simply knowing there was a small minority of people who loved my appearance.

Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I’ll accept any newcomer.

“So, Miss Frederica,” I said, giving her a thumbs up. “We’re ready when you are.”

“Alright, now that I’ve gotten permission from Natsuki, who’s calling the shots for some reason, please welcome your new classmate,” she said, smiling bitterly as she called in the student from the hallway. “Come on in.”

The classroom door opened after a brief pause. Footsteps, followed by a faint wind, entered the room. Despite my initial apathy at the arrival of the new student, I gulped at the sight of her.

She had long silver hair that fluttered in the wind, and was gazing straight ahead at us with amethyst eyes. She was wearing a black uniform—which might’ve come from her previous school—that nicely contrasted with her pale white skin. The combination of the two seemed to represent her ephemeral air and innate extravagance—complete perfection. Her beauty took my breath away even though I was used to seeing beautiful girls.

Miss Frederica wrote her name on the chalkboard behind her. She glanced at the board, then turned around and bowed to us. “My name is Emilia. I’m aware that this is reaaally odd timing for transferring schools, and that it must’ve been a bit of a surprise, but I’m looking forward to becoming friends with you all.” She looked around the classroom somewhat nervously. “I can also be a little ditzy, so please bear with me.”

“Nobody uses ‘ditzy’ in this day and age…” I blurted unintentionally.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but Emilia was already looking straight at me. My eyes must’ve been wide open. Unperturbed, she smiled at me alluringly. I was entranced.

It wasn’t the beginning of the school year or semester. It was just a regular Monday. Although it began a little more noisily than usual, it was supposed to be a normal day. However, at this moment, I had a feeling my peaceful days were about to come to an end. With the arrival of the new student—Emilia—my life would never be the same again.